XeyeslikesunshineX

Hey there.. I'm Cheyenne. I'm Nineteen and i have a free spirit. I believe in what i want to. I Do what i want to. I enjoy simple things. #sunshine #smiles #heels #homies #happiness #family

In the past 48 hours

Ive eaten a bowl of cereal and a snickers. Wherr has my appetite gone?

I want it.

Watching you this morning.. hop on the quad, grab the dog, load some hay, and feed the animals. Driving down a dirt road driveway. Passing the field of cows, rounding the barn, and driving alongside the horses to get to the house. Barbecuing fresh meats for dinner. That country life. I want it.

Love

Is a tricky, tricky thing.
Like that moment when you think you love someone, and you crave to tell them, but your head stops you to ask, “is now the time?” And you cant answer the question because you dont know. And then you end up not telling them….

Well.

There goes that.

18.

And living a miserable life.

I cry at least twice a week. 

I hate my job. 

I hate having homework. 

I hate almost all of the people I surround myself with. 

I hate coming home to an empty house.

I hate stressing over money to the point that I puke blood.

I hate how much I hate my life. 

And I hate that I have no idea on how to change it. 

I just wish you were still here to tell me what I need to do. To tell me what you did. 

To tell me that everything will be okay. 

And to hear you tell me you love me one more time, because I could just never hear it enough. 

I love you. Help me out, here.. 

Balls.

When youre trying to live the single life, and have fun, and then that one person walks into your life and just fucks it all up. You end up liking them, and you lose all interest in anyone else.
This is balls.

Today

I woke up to a kiss from him telling me to have a good day.
Is going to be a great day. :)

I WORK

Every single day. And every single day I dont work, im sitting in a classroom or at a desk doing homework. My life revolves around school, work, and sleep. However, every month I find myself in the same boat. Struggling to pay bills. I work my ass off every single day and it never pays off. Ever. I dont understand this world. How do employers expect someone to be about to live off of $300 paychecks? I work two jobs and still cant pay bills even when every sent eitger goes to them or gas to get to work or school. I am the definition of hardwork and I still dont get to do fun things. Ever.
Take it from me, hard work doesnt pay off. No wonder there are so many mindless losers out there living off welfare and unemployment. Maybe theyre not so mindless. Because theyre living a much better lifestyle than I. I can guarantee that.

Heart Attacks Kill

But its alright. I found my license and everyone is okay!

#notgivinafuckkkk

Boys are stupid.

Throughout the years, I have had countless relationships, and each of them have failed in their own way. However, fourteen of them were particularly worse than the others. Either I am doing something REALLY wrong, or i’m just not what they want. I have been cheated on by FOURTEEN guys. Or should i say boys. Lately, I have been really upset when i look at that number, however, i realized yesterday that i don’t actually care. I don’t need them, i’ve lived since it happened, and i’ve been happy for the most part. I’ve also decided that i’m going to save myself. no more dinking around with idiots that i think might like me. No. I’m going to wait for the one that finds me, and finds everything about me astounding and perfect in every way.

I’m putting down my pen and paper; I’m going to wait for my fairy tale to write itself. <3 

My life

Consists of homework, school, working, sleeping, and doing it all over again. My life is tiring and boring. But I love it so much. I’m on the right track to a beautiful future.

Weightless

Manage me, I’m a mess.
Turn a page, I’m a book, half unread.
I want to be laughed at, laughed with, just because.
I want to feel weightless and that should be enough.
But I’m stuck in this fucking rut, waiting on a secondhand pick me up.
I’m over, getting older.
If I could just find the time, then I would never let another day go by.
I’m over, getting old.
Maybe its not my weekend, but its gonna be my year.
I’m so sick of watching all the minutes pass as I go nowhere.
This is my reaction, to everything I feel, cause I’ve been going crazy.
Don’t want to waste another minute here.